That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize
