Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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