he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
