I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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