is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
