Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
