Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I puked a lego.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
