did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
