Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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