I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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