I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
