in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
