hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
two words: eviction party
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
