i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
