just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
as a side note pls kill me
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
