Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
