Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
