too bad you live with your parents still
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
