3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
