why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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