so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
