if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
