Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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