She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
