I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
