dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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