Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
