I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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