I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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