you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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