people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
