also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
