who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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