I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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