YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
