People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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