I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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