you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
