I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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