I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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