Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Randomize