Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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