Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
