Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
