It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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