dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
