wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
