I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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