Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We're too hungover to prance.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
