So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize