What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
