so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
