Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
