hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
