hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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