ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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