Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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