OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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