Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
