I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize