The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
