Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
