remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
