could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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